You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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