normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
