dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
