addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
