i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
