gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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