no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
