its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
