I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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