I accidentally burped into my bong.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize