Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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