This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
