And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
