Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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