Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
