No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
