Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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