I smell stomach acid.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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