walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
