I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
