Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
