There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
