put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
