Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
