What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
