and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
