accomplished twins. life is a go
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
