she woke up with a sticky ear
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
