I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
