Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize