The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
