Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
