haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
