Kiss
Puke
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
wow bdsm is so cute
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
