remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize