we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
