i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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