Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Never underestimate the power of titties
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