all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
