wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
