who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
