just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
