The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
