I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
