hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
