Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude. I can hear the air.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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