Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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