that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
As shirtless as possible
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
