you win again, gameday.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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