SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
