I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
