the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
