But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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