you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
